Swimsuits

As soon as we booked the holiday (August? September?) I rushed out to buy a couple of new swimsuits before they disappeared from the shops. There wasn't a lot of choice so I'm here with:

1: The Special K swimsuit. Its red, its cross over and plunging and when you lie down the hidden bra bit is no longer hidden as it stays in place and the outer fabric moves. Not a terrifically attractive look! So, obviously designed for poncing about in and swaggering about the beach which (not having the Special K body to match the swimsuit) I don't do...

2. The Speed Bump swimsuit. It stays in place, but forces the Twins together so they become conjoined twins. Who on earth thinks a woman wants her boobs to resemble a speed bump????

Thankfully both are an improvement on the knitted cozzie that I took to Florida a few years ago. I began to emerge from the pool and began to realise that I was pouring water from my costume and the gusset was hanging down to my knees! This thing had absorbed half the pool and was now depositing it back in the most humiliating way!! It was not worn twice I can tell you!!!