Festival Frolics

We made a quick dash up to Edinburgh on Friday for the holiday weekend. Of course, as it was the Friday of the Bank Holiday we were fully expecting to hit truly horrible traffic and airport delays - everyone we spoke to sucked their teeth, rolled their eyes and said something about the M42/M5/New Bridge and multi-hour delays! We left the office at 3pm in order to be sure of catching the flight...and sailed through everything!!! The motorways were clear and even security at the airport was entirely without a wait! By 4:30 we were in the departure lounge and ready to go! We had a truly disgusting meal to save time later (who would have thought you could screw up fish and chips - but they managed it!), grabbed a coffee to take the taste away and then wandered down to the gate.

The flight was short and we were soon in a taxi into Edinburgh. We collected the keys from my sister and arranged to meet everyone for a drink once we had dumped the cases and got changed. We decided to take a short detour into the West End for a quick drink in an uber trendy bar. I felt something digging into my right boob as we were walking along, looked down and discovered that my underwiring had broken free of the confines of its bra and was making a bid for freedom. Great! Not only was I being viciously attacked by my own clothing, but I now had Non-Identical Twins!!! I spent the next few minutes walking along trying to force it back where it should be - no mean feat I can tell you!!

After a drink there we headed down to The Antiquary to meet up with Eve, Chad, Dad, Joan, Matt and Yvonne for a drink...or maybe it was a few more than one! Everyone was on great form and we had a superb evening, topped off by a bag of chips with saltnsauce on the way home. What a great end to a great evening! I don't know why saltnsauce hasn't caught on outside of Edinburgh - its much more delicious than salt 'n' vinegar! All that saucy loveliness. MmmmmmMmmmmm!

Saturday was spent in true Tourist in Edinburgh During Festival mode, on the Royal Mile with many thousands of others watching the performance artists and generally being crushed, jostled, stepped on and having brilliant fun! We met up with Eve, Chad and Mum in time for a drink before the comedy show we were booked to see. We found a table in a bar on George Street which was just across the road from the venue. Perfect! We were enjoying our wine when Eve checked the tickets and gasped in shock. The venue was not across the road - it was across town! Time for a sharp exit! Miraculously there was a taxi right outside the door and we made it to the Pleasance in fine time.

We saw Tom Wrigglesworth, a most excellent comedian. His show was laughing out loud until your eyes water funny and quite poignant. It was the story of how he was nearly arrested after having a whipround on a train. The train manager had insisted the dear sweet old lady sitting across from Tom had to buy a full price ticket as she had boarded the train stated on her itinerary, rather than the one stated on her ticket. It was the money she had saved in order to buy gifts for her grandchildren whom she was on the way to see. Stephen also had a role in the show! Tom was talking about his method of curing a hangover (in his case tea), when he turned to Stephen and asked his cure. "Irn Bru" was Stephen's reply (of course!). Tom said "Of course! I could ask 10,000 questions to a Scotsman and the answer to all of them would be Irn Bru!"

After dinner we walked up to the Royal Mile and went to a pub near the castle entrance. It was here that I became the 'Keeper of the Gents Toilets'.... We were sitting near the loos (not the best place from a whiff perspective!) which had a keypad access. Someone tried to get in and the chap at a nearby table told him the code, which he punched in to no avail. Perhaps they should have given the code a little more thought when they set it as 1990 sounds a lot like 1919 when it comes from the mouth of a heavily accented Scots bloke! Anyway it seeped into my brain and as the tables around us emptied and filled and those other people with The Knowledge disappeared. gents began to look to me to provide the precious code... I should have charged! Or perhaps I should have offered hand lotion and aftershave when they came out.... No. In fact I should absolutely have offered hand lotion (of the antibacterial kind) when they came out! Stephen popped in, and as he emerged I heard a noise which I hadn't heard all evening...the sound of the hot air hand dryer. EEUUUGGGHHH!! That meant that all the blokes who had gone in there before Stephen hadn't washed their hands!!!! Eeeeeeuuuuggggghhhh! And by the smell coming out the door, they hadn't made a huge effort to aim at the weewee receptacle either.....!!

Stephen and Chad had been speaking to the doorman and had managed to confirm the rumour that at the end of the Tattoo on the final night the bands march down to the Royal Mile from Castle. As the first fireworks exploded into the night sky we rushed out to watch and were part of a small crowd which had gathered to cheer on the pipers as they marched past playing Scotland the Brave. It was a really rather lovely evening all-told. Very much an Edinburgh Festival touristy evening!