The Great Hunter

Why, oh why? Why do these things happen when my protector is several thousand miles away? Stephen is the official bug dispatcher and rescuer of (not so) helpless women in this house and he's still in the UK.

I was was passing the downstairs loo when out of the corner of my eye I saw a dark shape on the tile floor. I put on the light and there was a spider! Eurgh!! It looked dead. It soon was. I was looking for the dustpan in order to scoop it up, but couldn't find it. I found it out in the yard (don't ask me why). I went to pick it up...and there was a spider on it. I shrieked and kicked at the dustpan and watched as the spider scuttled off into a crevice. After a dash back in to scrape the spider off the floor I went down to the gate in order to toss it over the fence - as far from the house as I could! I was so intent on performing a perfect pitch into the rear garden that I failed to see the huge web that was spun across between the plants. There was yet more shrieking as I fought to brush the clinging strands of web off my face. My poor neighbours must have been wondering what the heck was going on...or watching and laughing at my antics!!

I am now sitting here twitching at the touch of imaginary spiders. I am going to have to go and have a bath and wash my hair in a minute, otherwise I'm not going to get any sleep at all tonight. My recurring dream is one in which spiders are crawling in my hair. I haven't had it for a while actually, but feel this may change now! I'm sure Stephen is looking forward to me waking him in the night for the next few weeks as I sit bolt upright shouting "get them off me" as I swat at the imaginary spiders in my hair!!

At least the wildlife isn't so bad here. I can deal with a few spiders every now and again! Stephen was down playing golf at Pax River a couple of weeks ago and came back with tales of the preying mantis on the porch screen, the snake on the drive and the vulture sized mosquitoes that were trying to chew his leg off! I would be in a state of permanent anxiety at what would assault me whenever I walked out the door!