After the enthusiasm for Christmas lights had waned I got to the task in hand. Namely making myself presentable for the holiday party. I had already had my nails done - the talon-like extensions are now off and I have my own short, bendy, brittle nails back. Professionally manicured they don't look so bad though! My legs were another matter! It had been a little while since they had seen any hair removal action of any kind and it was beginning to become hard to tell who's legs were hairier - mine or Stephens! Home waxing is a process that is too painful to contemplate undertaking without a few stiff gins to deaden the pain and a leather strap to bite on, so I went for the easy option and pulled out the razor. I made a mental note to self to do it more often when I had blunted two razors, and the sink looked like Dumbledore had decided to shave off his beard....
Nails. check. Hair. check. Make-up, lots. check. Right it was time to get ready to do battle with the dreaded Gripper Knickers...Having learnt from previous encounters with the evil beasties, it is essential to be totally calm as they can sense rising hysteria and know when to go in for the kill (and by that I mean roll themselves into a sausage at the top of your thighs that requires your husband and a crowbar to unroll). I look a deep breath and stuck one foot through, then the other and pulled, and pulled, and pulled. I did get worried when I got them to thigh level and they started to fight back, but I showed 'em who's boss!!
The bodice of the gown had been a worry to me. I had tried it on the day before, thought "oh this is a bit looser than it was last time", and stuck my hands in the air to see what would happen. The bodice stayed where it was and the Twins shot straight out the top. Oops. That is NOT supposed to happen!! It was time to get out the sewing kit and sew pop fasteners to the bodice and the bra, which worked a treat. No embarrassing "just call me Janet" wardrobe malfunctions for me!
No comments:
Post a Comment